Abuse is fostering harm by action.
Neglect is fostering harm by inaction.
Let us look at those two statements with regard to Black History Month, and, racism in general.
I will negate the option to claim ignorance here. If you honestly cannot differentiate the way that Whites and Blacks are treated in this society, you seriously need to open your eyes, and you need to have a lot of honest discussions with people in your life who do not look like you. And your therapist.
So, ignorance aside, ARE YOU GOING TO FOSTER HARM? Are you the person who will let other people suffer and not care?
Abuse and neglect are the same thing. They both foster harm. Martin Luther King has the money quote on this: “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
It is not enough not to engage in hate speech. You must actively and passionately stand against it. You must let people know that you are not a safe place for them to spew their venom. You do not find their jokes funny. You do not find their euphemisms quaint.
Racism is not a Black-People-Problem. Racism *affects* Black people. But racism affects EVERY person.
We are living in a racist society.
Racism exists in every institution that our country has ever created. We can point to other evils, other horrors, and we can say ALSO. We CANNOT say NOT.
Yes, sexism exists ALSO racism. Homophobia and transphobia exist ALSO racism. Islamophobia exists ALSO racism. Antisemitism exists ALSO racism.
Yes, they all exist, and a thousand others; but in Every Single One, Black people of that description HAVE IT WORSE.
It is NOT incumbent on Black people to change, to accept, to tolerate.
It is incumbent upon White people to change, to combat, to resist: Resist our own urges and impulses when we "otherize" people; Combat other people's assumptions that they have an ally in us because we look like them; Change our own inherent biases that people who look like us are just what is normal. Not even *better*. Just normal.
Buy your kid a Black doll, or action figure. Sit on the Black Santa's lap at Christmas. Frequent a Black-owned business.
Actively. With your choices. With your dollars. With your voice. Stand up and say "I will not tolerate racism; and I will do my best -- in my way -- to eradicate racism from my life, my family, my community".
If you are a racist, you are the "abuse".
If you are not actively anti-racist, you are the "neglect".
And you can fix that.
And you should.